One day after my last post I read chapter 3 of this book:
And I had a lightbulb moment.
My fear was revealed. I realized immediately why the Lord had me reading this book and exactly what I needed to do.
But I didn’t want to do it.
That’s when the arrows flew.
…a “BUT GOD” moment.
One hard situation was put upon me, but through it I was set free from the other.
Everything crumbled around me for a moment, BUT GOD used it as a key to my release.
I immediately felt lighter.
At this time I was in Canton for a half-marathon I had entered, so I headed out on the trail expecting good things.
It was a disaster:
I underestimated the technicality of the trail, I completely dehydrated, I took a wrong turn, and I finished 32 minutes after my goal time.
And then I pitched a big fit.
I grabbed my medal, yanked a couple of chocolate chip cookies off the table, and fled the scene.
I was so mad…at the race, at myself…just mad at life, and I let it shine.
He still saw me, still reached out in love and grace to me, He still quieted my soul as only He can, so by the time I got home all was well.
Then I read chapter 4.
That’s when I realized the BUT GOD in my recent history…and I was sorry for my whining.
And then I was convicted and comforted all at once by this line:
…we have a choice. We can wear our hurt or wear our hope.
I had definitely worn my hurt after that race…not just my disappointment in the race but the hurt I felt as the Lord had filleted my heart and in the process cleaned out clots of my own sin.
So now the healing begins…and I’m thankful that it’s underway.
And if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times:
Praise the Lord.